比如,中国人在餐厅或咖啡厅,会说:“我想要一个汉堡包”或者“我想要一杯咖啡”。但是,如果直接把这些话翻译成英语“I want to have a hamburger.”或“I want to have a coffee.”老外们会觉得这样说话很没有礼貌,当然他们也不会直接告诉你。而在西方国家,老外们一般会说:“Could I have a hamburger, please?”或“Can I have a coffee, please?”在这里j又要提到一个需要注意的问题,“打工的孩子最容易不注意的是see you.See u应该是客人说的,隐含了他觉得不错他会再来的意思,而店员最好用低调一点的bye,用see u太强势了。另外人家说谢谢,你也不用说you are welcome, 这实在是太正式了,有点真把自己当回事觉得帮了人家的味道。回答cheers或no worries就好,如果仅仅是对方爱说谢,你甚至可以不回应他的谢,直接说你要说的就好,如果是买了他的东西他谢你,更不能说you r welcome了,最好也谢对方”
再比如,中国人在拒绝别人邀请的午宴或晚宴时,会说:“抱歉,我不能去,我还有别的安排。”翻译成英文就是“Sorry,I can’t. I have another appointment.”如果这样说,那别人第二次也许不会再邀请你了。老外们一般会这样说:“That is a good idea! I would like to join in but I have another appointment today.”
我们可以从中总结一些“有礼貌”的技巧:
1、西方人(主要指有一定修养的欧美人)在与他人交流时,比较多地使用情态动词:can、could、may、might、would等等;情态动词(Model Verbs)又称为情态助动词(Model Auxil-iaries),表示说话人的语气,可表达建议、要求、可能和意愿等,使得说话的语气比较有礼貌。
2、比较多地使用虚拟语气,比如would (had) rather、would (had) sooner、would (just) as soon等等,或者在陈述句中使用过去式表示虚拟语气,或者使用if等引导的从句表示“可能性”。这样说话可以使人感觉表达者是在考虑达到最佳的结果或方式,尽量避免不好的结果或方式,或者推测可能出现的问题,并找出可能解决的办法。
3、往往在句尾加please,而不是在句首加please。当please用在句首的时候,语气听起来就比较强,听起来像命令。比如请求别人做某事的时候,我们中国人会说“请在周一前给我回复。谢谢。”但是如果你直接用英语说“Please reply to me by Monday. Thank you.”听者会觉得你是在命令他,一点礼貌也没有。而如果这样说:“Could you please reply to me by Monday? Thank you.”就显得有礼貌了。
4、在陈述句的表达可能显得生硬、没礼貌时,尽量使用疑问句、否定句或从句,尽量避免自己的主观判断或武断,以积极的、建议的、比较的、人性的语气,代替消极的、命令的、直接的、武断的语气。
5、说话要以他人为中心,以肯定他人、赞同他人为前提,让自己显得谦卑、渺小。说完之后,还要附带一句“Thank you”或“Thanks”。其实,这种礼貌的表达方式是来自古老的中国。这是东西方文化的共同点,也是为人处世的基本原则。了解英语中礼貌的表达方式,尽量让自己的英语表达更有礼貌,融入社会。
说到这里,我们索性再八一八英国人那些弱爆了的思维吧。
当英国人夸你“很不错”时,当英国人“顺便说一句”时,当英国人说“基本同意”时,他们想表达的实际含义是什么呢?而你又是如何理解的呢?千万不要误会他们的意思,闹出笑话!
When the British say "I hear what you say. " They mean "I disagree and do not want to discuss it further." But what others understand is "He accepts my point of view."
当英国人说“我听到你所说的了”时,他们的意思是“我不同意也不想就其做进一步讨论”,而其他人却理解成了“他接受了我的观点”。
When the British say "With the greatest respect... " They mean "I think you are an idiot." But what others understand is "He is listening to me."
当英国人说“出于最大的尊重…”时,他们的意思是“我觉得你太二了”,而其他人却理解成了“他正听我说话呢”。
When the British say "That's not bad. " They mean "That's good." But what others understand is "That's poor."
当英国人说“不算太糟”时,他们的意思是“太好了”,而其他人却理解成了“太差了”。
When the British say "That is a very brave proposal. " They mean "You are insane." But what others understand is "He thinks I have courage."
当英国人说“那真是一个非常有勇气的提议”时,他们的意思是“你真是疯了”,而其他人却理解成了“他觉得我很有胆识”。
When the British say "Quite good. " They mean "A bit disappointing." But what others understand is "Quite good."
当英国人说“很不错哦”时,他们的意思是“有点小失望”,而其他人却理解成了“真心不错”。
When the British say "I would suggest... " They mean "Do it or be prepared to justify yourself." But what others understand is "Think about the idea, but do what you like."
当英国人说“我想建议的是……”时,他们的意思是“去实践或者做好准备证明你自己”,而其他人却理解成了“考虑一下他的点子,但还是做我想做的”。
When the British say "Oh, incidentally / by the way... " They mean "The primary purpose of our discussion is..." But what others understand is "That is not very important."
当英国人说“顺便说一句……”时,他们的意思是“我们讨论的最根本目的是……”,而其他人却理解成了“接下来的话不是非常重要”。
When the British say "I was a bit disappointed that... " They mean "I am annoyed that..." But what others understand is "It doesn't really matter."
当英国人说“我对……有点小失望”时,他们的意思是“我对……很恼火”,而其他人却理解成了“无伤大雅”。
When the British say "Very interesting. " They mean "That is clearly nonsense." But what others understand is "They are impressed."
当英国人说“非常有意思啊”时,他们的意思是“那明显是瞎扯淡”,而其他人却理解成了“那真是让人印象深刻”。
When the British say "I'll bear it in mind. " They mean "I've forgotten it already." But what others understand is "They will probably do it."
当英国人说“我刻在脑子里了”时,他们的意思是“我已经不记得了”,而其他人却理解成了“他们大概会去做的吧”。
When the British say "I'm sure it's my fault. " They mean "It's your fault." But what others understand is "Why do they think it was their fault?"
当英国人说“我确定是我错了”时,他们的意思是“那其实是你的错”,而其他人却理解成了“为什么他们会觉得是他们的错呢?”
When the British say "You must come for dinner. " They mean "It's not an invitation, I'm just being polite." But what others understand is "I will get an invitation soon."
当英国人说“你一定要来赴宴”时,他们的意思是“那绝不是什么邀请,我只不过想礼貌一些”,而其他人却理解成了“马上我就会收到一个邀请了”。
When the British say "I almost agree. " They mean "I don't agree at all." But what others understand is "He's not far from agreement."
当英国人说“我基本同意”时,他们的意思是“我一点儿都不同意”,而其他人却理解成了“他真的是非常非常同意啊”。
When the British say "I only have a few minor comments. " They mean "Please re-write completely." But what others understand is "He has found a few typos."
当英国人说“我只是有一点儿建议”时,他们的意思是“请从头到尾地重写一份吧”,而其他人却理解成了“他只不过发现了一些言语错误”。
When the British say "Could we consider some other options?" They mean "I don't like your idea." But what others understand is "They have not yet decided."
当英国人说“我们可以再考虑一些其他的选择吗?”时,他们的意思是“我着实不喜欢你的点子”,而其他人却理解成了“他们还没有决定下来吧”。